Empowerment or Control?

The dark side of life coaching

“Life coaches who take on ‘everything’ end up offering very little, at best”

Imagine for a second, you’re doom scrolling on Instagram or Threads. Between posts about picture-perfect vacations and endless motivational quotes, a coach promises to help you “unlock your true potential” or “find clarity in every area of your life.” They look flawless. They speak with unwavering confidence. Maybe there’s even a reel of them meditating on a cliff in Bali, draped in white linen, or scaling the Andes shirtless; each moment promising to “align your soul,” “conquer your inner mountains,” or achieve a “life beyond limits.”

Sounds enticing, doesn’t it? But here’s the harsh reality: these kinds of promises aren’t about empowerment. They’re about dependency. What’s masked as transformation often becomes an endless cycle of needing more guidance, more sessions, and much, much more coaching. And therein lies the real problem with the world of life coaches. While some genuinely do impactful work, too many in the field have veered off course.

There’s a dangerous mix of over-promising, blurring boundaries, and claiming expertise in areas they aren’t qualified to handle; areas that often belong in therapy rather than coaching. Life coaches who take on “everything” end up overreaching and yet offering very little, at best.

“The worst part? They do it under the guise of support”

The most troubling trend in life coaching isn’t just overreach but the breeding of dependency. Far too many coaches position themselves as the ultimate answer, encouraging clients to turn to them for every answer and every decision. Instead of empowering individuals to develop their own abilities and decision-making skills, they grow reliant, feeding an insidious cycle that undermines their growth.

The real toxic part? When that power dynamic shifts, coaching isn’t about fostering growth but maintaining control. Only the foolishly egotistical ones dare call themselves “gurus,” but a lot of life coaches are guilty of displaying that same superiority complex; subtly making themselves the primary authority. The worst part? They do it under the guise of support.

Empowerment and autonomy are the core values that should drive effective coaching. Yet life coaching too often sucks them dry, in exchange for flashy promises that can’t possibly live up to the hype. These sessions leave clients feeling good momentarily but utterly dependent and confused in the long term.

“It’s not the transformation they promised you, but a perpetual commitment” 

To make matters worse, many life coaches now perpetuate a cycle of reliance that pushes clients from one dependency to the next. With manipulative lines like, “the real transformation happens when you commit fully,” don’t just inspire change but pressure you into enrolling for another program, another private session, or another retreat that will “unlock your true potential.” It’s not the transformation they promised you, but a perpetual commitment. The coach is essentially a crutch for as long as “you’ve got more work to do,” not a catalyst for independence.

If this criticism sounds a little self-righteous, well, it is. The truth is, life coaching is more damaging than helpful when it turns into a never-ending loop of dependency, harming clients and wrecking the profession’s credibility in the process. The coaching industry doesn’t need louder claims or grand promises. It needs clearer boundaries and a healthier approach.

“Jargon is the life coach’s ultimate crutch“

I believe it’s time for life coaches to take responsibility, starting with a clear distinction between personal development and therapy. Instead of chasing sweeping promises, coaches need to refocus on fostering true empowerment. “Life” isn’t a finite topic, which makes it even more critical for life coaches to understand their limitations, or at least acknowledge that those limits exist.

Just this week, I asked a self-proclaimed life coach on Threads to explain his post: “Self-mastering authenticity and empathy is the key to success.” His response? “You just have to align your internal archetypes to recalibrate your emotional resonance and integrate your core vibrational authenticity with radical intentionality.”

Jargon is the life coach’s ultimate crutch; an endless stream of hollow phrases dressed up to sound profound. These empty affirmations, probably pulled straight from their last Bali retreat, allow them to talk a lot without actually saying anything of real value. They offer no clarity and even fewer actionable solutions.

Too many life coaches have let their ambition outgrow their expertise. If we don’t rein this in, the field’s credibility—and the transformative promise of coaching itself—could crumble under the weight of its own inflated claims.

Final thought: wake-up call or overreaction?

So, what do you think? Is life coaching in desperate need of a wake-up call, or am I being too harsh in my judgment? Let’s talk about it in the comments.